One of my hardest life lessons in my 28 years around the sun so far has been understanding the art of “letting go”. This umbrella term can be relatable to almost any and every life experience. We all have had, at some point or another, an ah-ha moment in realizing that perhaps a friendship, lover, job or situation that once fulfilled us has become a negative in your life. For whatever reason, a change has occurred and it becomes dead weight. It not longer is serving us the way it has in the past. Although, coming to this conclusion sometimes is the easy part. What one can’t always prepare for is the actual process of nonattachment. The process always sucks and sometimes we still never get the answer or closure we hope to find. Sometimes the answer itself is you simply coming to terms that in order to achieve happiness, we must hold ourselves accountable for it.
Sometimes we choose to stay in a relationship or situation that no longer serves us due to many reasons. The feelings of guilt or shame. That the ego has something prove. Or the sheer fact that fear is standing in the way of the unknown. Being creatures of habit, we often respond well to routine and the familiar. When our routine and familiar gets turned on its head, that’s when we typically turn to panic mode.
When we allow ourselves to constantly live in the past, we are are not discovering self-growth. What once was, is now gone. Though it doesn’t have to be forgotten. That is where the true test of letting go comes into play. It’s ok to look back at a friendship or relationship and cherish the time what was spent there. It’s OK to love these people from afar and wish them well. It’s not an accident where and who you end up meeting throughout your life. Your path led you to that experience or person for a very specific reason. But some things/feelings/experiences are not meant to last but are simply here to teach us a lesson. Part of letting go is taking the time to ground, seclude, meditate and really take an analytical approach to what lesson is to be learned. Sometimes we already know the answer to our question and other times, it takes patience.
Overanalyzing on how these changes affect you in the future is just as bad as clinging to the past. Often times when we look to the future, the perception of our own reality starts to get a little fuzzy and that’s where expectations are created. We might have a very specific idea or image about someone or something but if that person or thing does not live up to our expectations, disappointment follows. No one has a crystal ball to gaze into to assure you of what’s to come either. One thing is clear though. Life happens. We have no control over what happens and how other people respond. But what we do have control over is proactively taking steps in changing the way we think, respond, and engage with change.
Let me make something very clear here. Have I myself mastered this concept? Hell no!!! I’ll be the first to admit that past and future come back to haunt me all the time. But, I am more vigilant of these mind fucks. My yoga practice has taught me to not be so reactive all of the time. I know I can’t change the people or the situations around me. Yet, I can change the way I digest and acknowledge them. People and life experiences will continue to disappoint me throughout my lifetime. That I can guarantee. But it’s truly up to me in how I go about dealing with change and disappointment.
I try my hardest to find gratitude each and every day for any form of negativity that comes my way. It’s a constant battle, but so is forearm stand. Some day’s my feet barely leave the ground and others I feel like I could balance on my forearms for hours. No pain, no gain. No mud, no lotus.